In the first four months of this year, due to my physical condition and circumstances, I finally settled down and regained the habit of reading when I have nothing to do. It seems that since I graduated from college, I have never read leisure books so attentively. The range of these books includes finance, health, productivity, history, and love. But through the order of this book list, they are all telling me how to live.
Set For Life#
Another popular science book that teaches young people how to manage their finances. It is similar to the two books I read last year, but I actually prefer Ramit's "I'll Teach You to be Rich".
Never Split the Difference#
A book about negotiation skills. The author has rich experience in rescuing hostages through negotiations in various crisis situations, and also demonstrates how to apply these skills in daily life. It is useful whenever you need to speak up for yourself. I think it is a great complement to "Nonviolent Communication". Maybe in communication with others, we should try to understand and see each other at the beginning, and achieve our own wishes through cooperation. But when the other person is an asshole, we have to think of something else, and that is negotiation skills. While reading this book, I took several pages of notes and even memorized the entire section on rent negotiation.
The Art of War#
After reading "Never Split the Difference", I thought since I was already thinking about negotiation, why not also read "The Art of War". Later I found that it was completely different from what I imagined. It is not about tactics, but about the philosophy of war, and can even be applied to all aspects of life. First of all, it is anti-war. If problems can be solved through communication and strategy, there is no need to go to war and waste resources and disregard lives. Secondly, Sun Tzu is more concerned about how to do well in oneself, making the country and the people strong and prosperous. Therefore, before engaging in any battle, one should collect information, deduce, and be well-prepared. Have a plan for every step in your mind, take the initiative, and don't follow the enemy. Instead of defeating the enemy, the more appropriate goal is to do well in every step that you can do and not lose. There are many sayings that made me exclaim: they make so much sense.
Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most#
This book, as its name suggests, talks about how to make it easier for oneself to do the things that really matter, reduce anxiety, internal conflicts, and fatigue. Some methods can make important things more interesting and make oneself more willing to accomplish them. Some methods can make things easier and effortless. Some methods can reduce or even eliminate problems. It's a very interesting book, and after reading it, you will find yourself becoming more and more organized, but also more relaxed.
The Book of Boundaries#
I have been reading this book for two years. I finally finished it this year, and it was very beneficial. It teaches people how to maintain healthy boundaries with work, friends, family, and various social relationships, and provides many practical communication templates. The most useful content for me is how to maintain healthy boundaries with oneself and with food. This part helped me dispel many misconceptions about food (such as thinking that I have to eat ice cream when I go to the beach in summer, or that sweets can bring happiness).
Why We Sleep#
It is a very good popular science book on sleep. It describes the characteristics and functions of each stage of sleep. Sleep is closely related to physical health, mental health, emotional intelligence, intelligence quotient, memory, physical performance, learning ability, productivity, creativity, attractiveness, and even appetite. Poor sleep can lead to various physical and emotional problems. So how to sleep well? The book also provides many tips, which are very consistent with the various traditional Chinese medicine concepts that my mother has been telling me since I was a child.
The Secret of Skin: Everything About the Body's Largest Organ#
First, it talks about the structure and working principles of the skin. Then it explains in detail how various skin problems occur and how to deal with them. It also introduces many harmful factors to the skin, the correct methods of daily skincare, and how to eat for good skin. My biggest realization is that the various skincare products sold at the counter are actually just a tax on intelligence. What our skin really needs is good food, good sleep, exercise, and simple moisturizing and sun protection.
Cancer Defense#
A very readable popular science book about cancer. It discusses many potential causes of cancer, the relationship between cancer and genes, lifestyle habits, and the environment, how to scientifically prevent cancer, and how to effectively screen for cancer through physical examinations.
The Best Goodbye: What You Need to Know About Aging and Death#
We always have fear and avoid talking about aging, disability, and death in life. But in the end, this is the destination that everyone will reach. This book allows readers to start being brave and try to understand the experience of the end of life. It describes various options for elderly care in American society and the problems that arise from them through real and touching cases. When I read this book, I almost cried for the aging, helplessness, persistence, and love of the characters in the book in every chapter. It also made me start thinking about what I should do when life is about to end. Since there is always death, how should I live now?
Guns, Germs, and Steel#
It is a true world history book. It tells the reasons for the formation of various ethnic groups in the world and the impact of various terrains, plants, and resources on the development of local human beings. I love this book so much. On the one hand, it shows the customs and landscapes of the ends of the earth in the long river of history, making me amazed at how big the world is and how different the living conditions of human beings are. What I take for granted, what I consider normal and true, is actually just a very narrow fragment of human experience. On the other hand, it makes me understand that even if we are distributed in different places with great cultural differences, we are all the same human beings, with the same desires and joys and sorrows. I don't think there is such a thing as national or ethnic character. There are only living individuals who have made the greatest efforts for their lives in various historical periods.
How to Know a Person#
This year's NY Times Best Seller. I originally wanted to borrow it from the library, but there were already more than sixty people waiting in line, so I decided to buy a copy. It talks about how to establish deep relationships with others, how to truly see each other, instead of living in our own assumptions and fantasies. To truly see others and let others see us, we must first soften ourselves and patiently accompany others. Then we need to ask open-ended questions and use genuine curiosity to understand their perspectives and listen to their stories. When a friend encounters difficulties, we should listen and acknowledge the challenges they are facing, instead of trying to shift the focus to ourselves. The book also has many interesting insights and case studies. In the end, the author asks: What is wisdom? His answer is that wisdom is the ability to truly see others.
How to not Die Alone#
It is a great guide on how to find a life partner. The first step is to understand what you want, dispel many common misconceptions (such as overly romanticizing love, seeking maximum returns, thinking that you must reach a certain stage in life before pursuing love), and then gradually teach people how to prepare for the first date, the second date, how to decide whether to commit long-term, whether to get married, whether to break up, and how to handle breakups.
Eight Dates#
Another Best Seller. This book is about how to understand and maintain a good relationship with your partner. It is divided into eight topics, including how to build trust, deal with conflicts, engage in intimate activities, handle money, build a family, have fun together, grow spiritually, and pursue dreams. On the one hand, it reveals through data what the most important factors are in an intimate relationship. On the other hand, it teaches readers how to communicate in these important areas, so that the beautiful feelings are not worn away by daily affairs.
Before Sunrise & Before Sunset#
I have always loved the "Before" trilogy movies, and last year, a friend gave me the script as a birthday gift. It is a very thin book that can be read in two hours. Compared to the movies, it gives me more room for imagination. Very romantic.
The Art of Loving#
Love is an art. According to Fromm, it has nothing to do with peak experiences, selfishness, sacrifice, power struggles, possessiveness, interest exchange, idol worship, or sexual climax. On the contrary, narcissism, depression, and control mania are all caused by the lack of love. Love is not something that happens to us naturally like rain and dew. It is an art, an art that requires constant practice to maintain skills, an art that can only be mastered by people with a healthy personality. That is, a person must stand on the ground freely and independently, love oneself completely and spontaneously, without being influenced by anyone or anything, and extend this love to others and the surrounding world. Love is a creative experience.
Escape From Freedom#
The reason why I wanted to read Fromm is because of this book. I hoped it could solve some of my long-standing confusion. This is probably also the dilemma of many modern people. It seems that the more freedom people have, the more confused and lonely they become. I hardly saw this situation in my parents' generation and earlier generations, but it is quite common among people of my generation. Fromm provides a historical framework for this modern problem, because with the emergence of capitalism, religious reform, and greatly improved material life, modern people can almost choose to do anything. However, they no longer belong to any collective or have a clear identity for a long time. As a result, they feel closed, lonely, and afraid of being solely responsible for their lives. As a result, they escape from freedom, give up their integrity, and develop tendencies of both masochism and sadism. Fromm suggests that this is the reason for the rise of Nazism. The only solution is to embrace freedom, develop a healthy personality, and act completely spontaneously.
The Baron in the Trees#
The heir to the baron climbed up a tree after a conflict with his family and never came down again. This is a very characteristic novel by Italo Calvino, light, humorous, and full of imagination. The protagonist's life is actually his solution to the problem of modernity proposed by Calvino. How did he do it? You have to read the book yourself to find out.