Last Monday morning, when I got up and combed my hair, I saw something shiny on my hair. It must be cat hair, I thought, or maybe I accidentally got foundation on my head. But I gradually realized that the shiny thing was growing on my head, and not just one, but two.
"Jinxi, I'm only twenty-seven years old and I already have white hair." This was the first thought in my mind.
At first, I was confused. Can people in their twenties have white hair? I stood by the sink and started Googling. It said: Most East Asians start growing white hair around the age of thirty-five, and some start early. You need to pay special attention to whether it's caused by a lack of vitamin B.
Then I started to resist. It didn't ask for my opinion, and I don't agree with it growing there! No one in my family has white hair at such an early age, someone must have made a mistake!
But there was no way, I couldn't think too much about it for the early meeting, so I had to start washing up and start my day. When I stood on the subway, this matter reappeared in my mind, and I realized that maybe it was true.
I began to mourn my lost youth and miss the days when I was praised for my thick and black hair. Maybe those days are gone and will never come back. I even thought about how I am getting closer and closer to old age and death.
Then I started to think about how to slow down my relatively young years. I started planning to supplement various vitamins every day, check if my diet is balanced, and reflect on whether my daily routine is too irregular. I also added white hair to my memo, ready to bring it up when I meet with the family doctor.
But after listing all the actionable steps, my mood became sad and depressed again. I started to tell my friends about my sadness because I believe that storytelling between women is the best way to heal. I bought flowers for myself because "Spring Back to Life" sings "Always full of flowers, healing your white hair." But after a week, on Friday night when we were celebrating the New Year together, when my friends asked me what my biggest annoyance was recently, I found that my biggest annoyance was still those two white hairs and the diseases and aging they symbolize.
But thinking too much is useless. There is no doubt that I have entered a new stage of life, perhaps this is also a good thing?
I think about what changes this stage will bring. I am braver than before, and I have tried everything I wanted to try. For the things I love, I have been learning and accumulating for a long time. I am no longer anxious about whether people like me or afraid of appearing foolish. I am no longer afraid of rejecting others or expressing my unique opinions. Instead of being lost in the crowd, my heart is now firmly grounded in the present, living as a flesh-and-blood person, and establishing real connections with the people around me. I have never felt so alive.
So, white hair should not be cured, it should be celebrated! Let's write a song!
Before this, I had never written any songs, so I decided to start with lyrics.
One is called Polaris
Two is called Sirius
Three is yet to see
Put down your hair
Like a river it flows
Along with the years
that carried you
But girl, don't fret
Put it down
Let it shine
Like night and light
And the half light
Tread boldly, it's
Weaved with all your dreams
Tonic is for roses
Dominant for tulips
In my tune they'll be
Get the flowers
To cure your white hair
Not cure, I say
To celebrate
So girl, don't fret
Put it down
Let it shine
Like night and light
And the half light
Tread boldly, You are
living in the dream
The next morning, after listening to Laufey's songs for two hours, I found four good chords from "I Wish You Love" and sang along with the lyrics. Ten minutes later, when the teacher came to teach guitar lessons, he went through it with me again and made some changes to the chords and rhythm. Here is the final result.
Obviously, it is very, very green. The melody and chords are poorly imitating Laufey, and the best part of the lyrics is from Yeats' "Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven". But it comes from my acceptance of growing older, my enthusiastic celebration of vitality, my gratitude for friendship, and my long-term commitment to learning music. I really like it.
Consider the whole story as a joke, recorded here. Cheers!